Kate Heavey

My face to face office is in Alfold, near Cranleigh, on the Surrey / West Sussex borders. I offer online and teletherapy across all counties.

**Update 1 July 2024**

Online or telephone - Monday 3.30pm, Wednesday 10.30am or Wednesday 3pm.

Please contact me if a weekly session time works for you.

Whether here as an individual or couple, you did not start off in life feeling you would need counselling.  It takes courage and vulnerability to reach out and say 'hands up I need support’.  

My areas of passion are:

• Relationships
• Alcohol dependency
• Loss/bereavement
• Attachment (childhood) trauma

Additionally offering counselling with symptoms such as anxiety, low confidence, shame, not feeling good enough, stuckness, life dissatisfaction, unhappiness, despair, anger expression, etc. 

What is true is that we are all born in relationship and have basic survival needs, i.e. love, warmth/comfort, food, etc.  As children we are very clever and we morph to fit our family of origin and whilst this adaption works for survival, and to keep hold of love back then, it often plays havoc in relationships in later life when these adaptions/defences do not work with others. Sound familiar?

If so, along life's journey you may have had to suppress your feelings and use logic instead, which works for a while. Eventually, this learnt behaviour, and coping strategies, starts to cause inner conflict and unpleasant feelings, i.e., anger, resentment, sadness, loss, confusion, pain, disappointment, shame, etc. Very simply, I call this 'backpack full'.

When you feel like this, you will leak out and show 'symptoms', i.e., control, perfectionism, low self-esteem, substance abuse (alcohol and food), anxiety, neediness, avoidance, withdrawal, sulking, rigidity, appeasing, rejecting, etc. and it is these symptoms, invariably, that have you here as you are in a level of pain and discomfort.

Please know what is learnt can be unlearnt, if you want to. 

In counselling we work together to look at how your learnt way of living is impacting you today, and the relationships you are in.

We find ways to aid you living more authentically for you to feel fulfilled, contented and satisfied. In a nutshell we look to 'empty your backpack'.

Costs

First session for individuals - complimentary.

First session for couples/twos - £40 (due to pre-assessment work).

60-minute sessions thereafter: -

• Individual - £60
• Couple - £80
• Counselling Students - £45

I am Bupa, Axa, Aviva Vitalityhealth approved.

It is always a pleasure to meet new clients and put faces to names.

Individual counselling: - Complimentary for individuals. I briefly go through confidentiality. I lead with a few questions to let me know a bit about your history and what brings you to counselling. This is also an opportunity for you to ask questions and for us to discuss how we would work together.

Couple (or two) counselling: - £40 due to pre-assessment work. You will have already emailed me back your pre-assessment forms so your initial session is held in the here-and-now. We discuss what you both want from your relationship and how we'll work as a three to get you there.

My face to face office is in Alfold, near Cranleigh, on the Surrey / West Sussex borders. I offer face to face, online and teletherapy across all counties.

**Update 1 July 2024**

Face to face, online or telephone - Wednesday 10.30am or 3pm.

Online or telephone - Monday 3.30pm.

Please contact me if a weekly session time works for you.

Whether here as an individual or couple, you did not start off in life feeling you would need counselling.  It takes courage and vulnerability to reach out and say 'hands up I need support’.  

My areas of passion are:

• Relationships
• Alcohol dependency
• Loss/bereavement
• Attachment (childhood) trauma

Additionally offering counselling with symptoms such as anxiety, low self-esteem and confidence, shame, not feeling good enough, stuckness and feelings such as dissatisfaction, despair, anger, etc. 

What is true is that we are all born in relationship and have basic survival needs, i.e. love, warmth/comfort, food, etc.  As children we are very clever and we morph to fit our family of origin and whilst this adaption works for survival, and to keep hold of love back then, it can play havoc in relationships in later life when these adaptions/defences do not work with others. Sound familiar?

If so, along life's journey you may have had to suppress your feelings and use logic instead, which works for a while. Eventually, this learnt behaviour, and coping strategies, starts to cause inner conflict and unpleasant feelings, i.e., anger, resentment, sadness, loss, confusion, pain, disappointment, shame, etc. Very simply, I call this 'backpack full'.

When you feel like this, you will leak out and show 'symptoms', i.e., control, perfectionism, substance abuse (alcohol and food), anxiety, neediness, avoidance, withdrawal, sulking, rigidity, appeasing, rejecting, etc. and it is these symptoms, invariably, that have you here as you are in a level of pain and discomfort.

Please know what is learnt can be unlearnt, if you want to. 

In counselling we work together to look at how your learnt way of living is impacting you today, and the relationships you are in.

We find ways to aid you living more authentically as you for you to feel fulfilled, contented and satisfied. In a nutshell we look to 'empty your backpack'.

Online and telephone counselling is offered from a private upstairs office where we can not be over heard.

I have been working online, and via the telephone, since 2014 (long before Covid!) and I have vast experience in this way of working (originally Skype, now Zoom).

Relationship Counselling

In relationship counselling we look at how your learnt behaviour, and wounding to date, is interfering with connection in your relationship(s). This ‘interference’ can show up in the shape of communication issues, squabbling, affairs / infidelity, stuckness, resentment, loneliness, etc. 

Every relationship is co-created and each of you brings your ‘back story’ of learnt behaviours and how you navigate differences which also includes trauma reactions, i.e., fight (hostility), flight (flee), freeze (withdraw), friend/flop (compliance) or fawn (appease).  All of these patterns are looked at.  

If you want support, do reach out and you do not have to live in this disconnected way with your learnt behaviour playing havoc on your intimate relationships.

(you can click on the website link on this page to find out more about my specific areas of work).

If this sounds like the therapy you are after, whether as an individual, couple, or two, do get in contact so I can support you on your journey.

If you are a counselling student, please contact me as it would be great to be on your journey of discovery with you; my modality is Integrative Petruska Clarkson 5 Relational.

Costs

First session for individuals - complimentary.

First session for couples/twos - £40 (due to pre-assessment work).

60-minute sessions thereafter: -

• Individual - £60
• Couple - £80
• Counselling Students - £45

I am Bupa, Axa, Aviva Vitalityhealth approved.

It is always a pleasure to meet new clients and put faces to names.

Individual counselling: - Complimentary for individuals. I briefly go through confidentiality. I lead with a few questions to let me know a bit about your history and what brings you to counselling. This is also an opportunity for you to ask questions and for us to discuss how we would work together.

Couple (or two) counselling: - £40 due to pre-assessment work. You will have already emailed me back your pre-assessment forms so your initial session is held in the here-and-now. We discuss what you both want from your relationship and how we'll work as a three to get you there.

My face to face office is in Alfold, near Cranleigh, and is reachable for all surrounding villages.  I offer face to face, online and teletherapy.

**Update 1 July 2024**

Face to face, online or telephone - Wednesday 10.30am or 3pm.

Online or telephone - Monday 3.30pm.

Please contact me if a weekly session time works for you.

I am BACP accredited and hold qualifications for individual, couple and two counselling work. My areas of interest are; relationship, loss / bereavement, alcohol dependency and childhood trauma (and its impact on you today).

Additionally offering counselling with symptoms such as anxiety, low confidence, shame, not feeling good enough, stuckness, life dissatisfaction, unhappiness, despair, anger expression, etc.

My original qualification was Clarkson relational and my working experience informs me that I am good at making connections, putting people at ease and being 'real' I am down to earth.

Face-to-face counselling is offered from my 'office in the garden'.  This is a roomy south-facing conservatory. The benefit of the conservatory is that it looks out onto the garden, where there is the sound of running water, which provides a calming and therapeutic setting.

Driveway parking is available.

(If you have cat allergies, please take precautions).

Walk and Talk Therapy is offered from a local location.

Online and Telephone Counselling is available.  I have been working online, and via the telephone, since 2014 and I have vast experience in this way of working (originally Skype, now Zoom).

Relationship Counselling

In relationship counselling we look at how your learnt behaviour, and wounding to date, is interfering with connection in your relationship(s). This ‘interference’ can show up in the shape of communication issues, squabbling, affairs / infidelity, stuckness, resentment, loneliness, etc. 

Every relationship is co-created and each of you brings your ‘back story’ of learnt behaviours and how you navigate differences which also includes trauma reactions, i.e., fight (hostility), flight (flee), freeze (withdraw), friend/flop (compliance) or fawn (appease).  All of these patterns are looked at.  

If you want support, do reach out and you do not have to live in this disconnected way with your learnt behaviour playing havoc on your intimate relationships.

(you can click on the website link on this page to find out more about my specific areas of work).

If this sounds like the therapy you are after, whether as an individual, couple, or two, do get in contact so I can support you on your journey.

If you are a counselling student, please contact me as it would be great to be on your journey of discovery with you; my modality is Integrative Petruska Clarkson 5 Relational.

Costs

First session for individuals - complimentary.

First session for couples/twos - £40 (due to pre-assessment work).

60-minute sessions thereafter: -

• Individual - £60
• Couple - £80
• Counselling Students - £45

I am Bupa, Axa, Aviva Vitalityhealth approved.

It is always a pleasure to meet new clients and put faces to names.

Individual counselling: - Complimentary for individuals. I briefly go through confidentiality. I lead with a few questions to let me know a bit about your history and what brings you to counselling. This is also an opportunity for you to ask questions and for us to discuss how we would work together.

Couple (or two) counselling: - £40 due to pre-assessment work. You will have already emailed me back your pre-assessment forms so your initial session is held in the here-and-now. We discuss what you both want from your relationship and how we'll work as a three to get you there.

My office is in Alfold just off the Loxwood Road. I offer face to face, online and teletherapy.

**Update 1 July 2024**

Face to face, online or telephone - Wednesday 10.30am or 3pm.

Online or telephone - Monday 3.30pm.

Please contact me if a weekly session time works for you.

I am BACP accredited and hold qualifications for individual, couple and two counselling work.  My areas of interest are; relationship, loss / bereavement, alcohol dependency and childhood trauma (and its impact on you today). 

My original qualification was Clarkson relational and my working experience informs me that I am good at making connections, putting people at ease and being 'real' I am down to earth. 

Your story.....

As an infant, you were born in relationship with basic survival needs, i.e. love, warmth/comfort, food, etc., and, as a child you would have cleverly adapted to fit your family of origin. Whilst this adaption works for survival, and to keep hold of love, it can be problematic later on in life in your relationships with yourself, and with others.

When these early adaptions/defences no longer work, there may be more defences and coping strategies adopted to self-protect which causes more inner conflict and unpleasant feelings, i.e., anger, resentment, sadness, isolation, loss, confusion, pain, disappointment, shame, etc. Very simply, I call this 'backpack full'.

When you experience these unpleasant feelings, you will leak out and show 'symptoms', i.e., control, perfectionism, low self-esteem, substance abuse (alcohol and food), anxiety, neediness, avoidance, withdrawal, sulking, rigidity, appeasing, rejecting, etc. and it is these symptoms that have you here seeking relief. Your learnt behaviour can mean you are no longer connected with those around you, and maybe not even yourself!

Counselling with Kate

Whether as an individual, couple or two, we will look at you understanding and unlearning some of your defences. We will process emotions. You will learn more wholesome relational skills. We will unload the baggage you are carrying. Our work will help you to lead a more content and peaceful life within yourself, and within your relationships.

Sound too good to be true? 

Contact me to find out how, together, we can 'empty your backpack'.

Face-to-face counselling is offered from my 'office in the garden'.  This is a roomy south-facing conservatory. The benefit of the conservatory is that it looks out onto the garden, where there is the sound of running water, which provides a calming and therapeutic setting.

Driveway parking is available.

(If you have cat allergies, please take precautions).

Walk and Talk Therapy is offered from a local location.

Online and Telephone Counselling is available.  I have been working online, and via the telephone, since 2014 and I have vast experience in this way of working (originally Skype, now Zoom).

Relationship, Marriage Guidance and Two Counselling

In relationship counselling we look at how your learnt behaviour is interfering with connection in your relationship(s). This ‘interference’ can show up in the shape of communication issues, squabbling, affairs / infidelity, stuckness, resentment, loneliness, sadness, etc. 

Every relationship is co-created and each of you brings your ‘back story’ of learnt behaviours and how you navigate differences which includes your trauma reactions, i.e., fight (hostility), flight (flee), freeze (withdraw), friend/flop (compliance) or fawn (appease).  In our work together, your learnt patterns are looked at as we move you to healthier ways of relating. 

Counselling Students

Costs

First session for individuals - complimentary.

First session for couples/twos - £40 (due to pre-assessment work).

60-minute sessions thereafter: -

• Individual - £60
• Couple - £80
• Counselling Students - £45

I am Bupa, Axa, Aviva Vitalityhealth approved.

It is always a pleasure to meet new clients and put faces to names.

Individual counselling: - Complimentary for individuals. I briefly go through confidentiality. I lead with a few questions to let me know a bit about your history and what brings you to counselling. This is also an opportunity for you to ask questions and for us to discuss how we would work together.

Couple (or two) counselling: - £40 due to pre-assessment work. You will have already emailed me back your pre-assessment forms so your initial session is held in the here-and-now. We discuss what you both want from your relationship and how we'll work as a three to get you there.

Costs

First session for individuals - complimentary.

First session for couples/twos - £40 (due to pre-assessment work).

60-minute sessions thereafter: -

• Individual - £60
• Couple - £80
• Counselling Students - £45

I am Bupa, Axa, Aviva Vitalityhealth approved.

It is always a pleasure to meet new clients and put faces to names.

Individual counselling: - Complimentary for individuals. I briefly go through confidentiality. I lead with a few questions to let me know a bit about your history and what brings you to counselling. This is also an opportunity for you to ask questions and for us to discuss how we would work together.

Couple (or two) counselling: - £40 due to pre-assessment work. You will have already emailed me back your pre-assessment forms so your initial session is held in the here-and-now. We discuss what you both want from your relationship and how we'll work as a three to get you there.

My face to face office is in Alfold, near Cranleigh, on the Surrey / West Sussex borders.  I offer face to face, online and teletherapy across all counties.

**Update 1 July 2024**

Face to face, online or telephone - Wednesday 10.30am or 3pm.

Online or telephone - Monday 3.30pm.

Please contact me if a weekly session time works for you.

BACP accredited and holding qualifications in individual, couple and two work. Areas of interest are; relationship, loss / bereavement, alcohol dependency and childhood trauma (and its impact on you today).

Your story....

As an infant, you were born in relationship with basic survival needs, i.e. love, warmth/comfort, food, etc., and, as a child you would have cleverly adapted to fit your social setting. Whilst this adaption works for survival, and to keep hold of love, it can be problematic later in life in your relationships with yourself, and with others, whether this is in your home life, work environment or friend circle.

When these early adaptions/defences no longer work for you, there may be more defences and coping strategies adopted to self-protect which causes more inner conflict and unpleasant feelings, i.e., anger, resentment, sadness, isolation, loss, confusion, pain, disappointment, shame, etc. Very simply, I call this 'backpack full'.

When you experience these unpleasant feelings, you will leak out and experience 'symptoms', i.e., control, perfectionism, low self-esteem, substance abuse (alcohol and food), anxiety, neediness, avoidance, withdrawal, sulking, rigidity, appeasing, rejecting, etc. and it is these symptoms that you are seeking relief from.

Your early life learnt behaviour can mean you are not connected with those around you, and maybe not even within yourself!

Counselling with Kate

Whether here as an individual, couple or two, we'll look at you understanding and unlearning some of your defences giving you tools to process your emotions. We'll encourage more connecting using wholesome relational skills. We'll unload the baggage you carry. Our work will lead you to a more contented and peaceful life within yourself, and within your relationships.

Having spent my working life in relationships with others, feedback informs me I am friendly, empathic, real and firm (in a good way!).

Face-to-face counselling is offered from my 'office in the garden'.  This is a roomy south-facing conservatory. The benefit of the conservatory is that it looks out onto the garden, where there is the sound of running water, which provides a calming and therapeutic setting.

Driveway parking is available.

(If you have cat allergies, please take precautions).

Walk and Talk Therapy is offered from a local location.

Online and Telephone Counselling is available.  I have been working online, and via the telephone, since 2014 and I have vast experience in this way of working (originally Skype, now Zoom).

Relationship Counselling

In relationship counselling we look at how your learnt behaviour, and wounding to date, is interfering with connection in your relationship(s). This ‘interference’ can show up in the shape of communication issues, squabbling, affairs / infidelity, stuckness, resentment, loneliness, etc. 

Every relationship is co-created and each of you brings your ‘back story’ of learnt behaviours and how you navigate differences which also includes trauma reactions, i.e., fight (hostility), flight (flee), freeze (withdraw), friend/flop (compliance) or fawn (appease).  All of these patterns are looked at.  

If you want support, do reach out and you do not have to live in this disconnected way with your learnt behaviour playing havoc on your intimate relationships.

(you can click on the website link on this page to find out more about my specific areas of work).

If this sounds like the therapy you are after, whether as an individual, couple, or two, do get in contact so I can support you on your journey.

If you are a counselling student, please contact me as it would be great to be on your journey of discovery with you; my modality is Integrative Petruska Clarkson 5 Relational.

Costs

Intake session for individuals - complimentary.

Intake session for couples/twos - £40 (due to pre-assessment work).

60-minute sessions thereafter: -

• Individual - £60
• Couple - £80
• Counselling Students - £45

I am Bupa, Axa, Aviva Vitalityhealth approved.

It is always a pleasure to meet new clients and put faces to names.

Individual counselling: - Complimentary for individuals. I briefly go through confidentiality. I lead with a few questions about your history and what brings you to counselling. This is also an opportunity for you to ask questions and for us to discuss how we would work together.

Couple (or two) counselling: - £40 due to pre-assessment work. You will have already emailed me back your pre-assessment forms so your initial session is held in the here-and-now. We discuss what you both want from your relationship and how we'll work as a three to get you there.