Mairi McAllister

I work Mon-Fri, 9am -5pm, I offer some evening sessions and can occasionally offer sessions at the weekend, my diary is ever changing so always worth checking if you need a very specific day or time.

I work online with those who cannot attend in person in Kirkcaldy

'Trauma is not what happened to you, trauma is what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you' -Gabor Mate

I have been a Counsellor for 14yrs, and spent another 10 years as a support worker, all of the people I have worked with in this time, have experienced Trauma and/or Abuse.

Trauma shows up in many different ways it can lead to addictions of all kinds, mental health issues, difficulties with relationships, self-harm, suicidal thoughts or attempts. You might have a diagnosis of PTSD/cPTSD, bi-polar, personality disorder or a dissociative disorder and increasingly we are recognising that traits which might fit for ADD/ADHD also make sense in terms of behavioural adaptations as a result of trauma.

Too often we also separate mind and body, many of my clients struggle with anxiety and or depression, we experience these physically as well as emotionally Many also have fibromyalgia and other autoimmune disorders and many other 'physical issues' which doctors often cant firmly diagnose, research clearly shows the impact of trauma on our bodies so might this be what your experiencing ?

Many people think that what they are struggling with means there is something wrong with them, that they are the problem and live with guilt and shame, and often cover up and hide their feelings and do their best to carry on, working, having partners and families and living a 'normal' life, despite feeling overwhelmed most of the time.

Therapy can be scary, but it can open the door to understanding and lasting change and can help you move forward more connected to yourself and to others.

I work face to face in Kirkcaldy and otherwise online and if its someones only option by telephone.

Sessions will be led by you but guided by me, you don't ever have to talk about what happened to you in any detail, we will concentrate on the impact its had on you and what you've made these things mean about you.

In using a Trauma Informed approach, I may offer some Psychoeducation which is really just helping you understand how Trauma affect our bodies and our brains and normalise how you have responded to the pain of not being seen, heard or for some directly abused.

Addictions and other coping mechanisms are really normal ways to cope with things we should not have experienced, I will support you to develop compassion for yourself, to accept yourself, and to find ways to cope with the pain of your past when it shows up in the here and now the more we understand and accept ourselves, the easier life becomes.

My role is to create a space where we build a safe, respectful relationship, where you feel heard and not just listened to, where you can explore those things that might be holding you back or causing you pain and sadness. I won't give advice, but I will try to help you find ways to manage life better and make sense of why thing are difficult for you.

Its important to me to continue to learn and develop my understanding around Trauma and recently completed training Gabor Mate's year long Compassionate Inquiry course.

"The purpose of the Compassionate Inquiry is to drill down to the core stories people tell themselves – to get them to see what story they are telling themselves unconsciously; what those beliefs are, where they came from; and guide them to the possibility of letting go of those stories, or letting go of the hold those stories have on them" … Gabor Mate

I offer a free 15 min introductory call where we can talk briefly about what you would like to bring and gain from counselling, at that point you can book a first session or take time to think about it, no pressure.

If you decide to send an enquiry and have a Gmail account please add a phone number if you can, often replies are sent to Junk and I try to send a text just to confirm I have replied, or please check Junk.

I work Mon -Fri flexible hours between 9-5 and have a few evening sessions each week and can occasionally offer one off sessions at weekends.

'Trauma is not what happened to you, trauma is what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you' -Gabor Mate

I have been a Counsellor for 14yrs, and spent another 10 years before that as a support worker, both in agencies which  specialised in working with both men and women who have experienced abuse and or trauma. Now in private practice I work with a broad range of clients but still see many where their current day issues are the result of what happened or didn't but should have in many cases, in their childhoods.

Trauma shows up in many different ways it can lead to addictions of all kinds, mental health issues, difficulties with relationships, self-harm, suicidal thoughts or attempts. You might have a diagnosis of PTSD/cPTSD, bi-polar, personality disorder or a dissociative disorder and increasingly we are recognising that for some, traits which might fit for ADD/ADHD also make sense in terms of behavioural adaptations as a result of trauma. Many of us might feel we had 'good' childhoods but maybe lacked the emotional support, love, attention and encouragement we all need to help us grow up confident and comfortable with ourselves, if we don't have this it shows up in our adult lives in all the same ways.

Too often we also separate mind and body, many of my clients struggle with anxiety and or depression, we experience these physically as well as emotionally  Many also have fibromyalgia and other autoimmune disorders and many other 'physical issues' which doctors often cant firmly diagnose, research clearly shows the impact of trauma on our bodies so might this be what your experiencing ?

Many people think that what they are struggling with means there is something wrong with them, that they are the problem and live with guilt and shame, and often cover up and hide their feelings and do their best to carry on, working, having partners and families and living a 'normal' life, despite feeling overwhelmed most of the time, talking to someone can help.

I work face to face and online and if its someones only option by telephone.

Sessions will be led by you but guided by me, you don't ever have to talk about what happened to you in any detail, we will concentrate on the impact its had on you and what you've made these things mean about you.

In using a Trauma Informed approach, I may offer some Psychoeducation which is really just helping you understand how Trauma affect our bodies and our brains and normalise how you have responded to the pain of not being seen, heard or for some directly abused. 

Addictions and other coping mechanisms are really normal ways to cope with things we should not have experienced, I will support you to develop compassion for yourself, to accept yourself, and to find ways to cope with the pain of your past when it shows up in the here and now the more we understand and accept ourselves, the easier life becomes.

My role is to create a space where we build a safe, respectful relationship, where you feel heard and not just listened to, where you can explore those things that might be holding you back or causing you pain and sadness. I won't give advice, but I will try to help you find ways to manage life better and make sense of why thing are difficult for you. 

Its important to me to continue to learn and develop my understanding around Trauma and recently completed training Gabor Mate's year long Compassionate Inquiry course.

Over the next year I am training in Somatic Trauma Work, which is body based, less talking, more feeling, its a way to release and process trauma without the story and can be effective when words just aren't enough.

"The purpose of the Compassionate Inquiry is to drill down to the core stories people tell themselves – to get them to see what story they are telling themselves unconsciously; what those beliefs are, where they came from; and guide them to the possibility of letting go of those stories, or letting go of the hold those stories have on them" … Gabor Mate

I offer a free 15 min introductory call where we can talk briefly about what you would like to bring and gain from counselling, at that point you can book a first session or take time to think about it, no pressure.

If you decide to send an enquiry and have a Gmail account please add a phone number if you can, often replies are sent to Junk and I try to send a text just to confirm I have replied, or please check Junk.

I am available for awareness raising sessions and talks and either full or half day training sessions.

I have been planning and facilitating training throughout my career. I was the core trainer during my 17yrs at a Rape & Sexual Assault Centre and trained, volunteers, staff and delivered external training to a range of agencies and staff on behalf of the Domestic and Sexual Abuse Forum and have presented at two very successful Trauma Conferences locally

Since becoming self employed I have continued to facilitate both online and in person trainings, many within Rape Crisis centres, but also for staff and volunteers at an independent Counselling Organisation and for a team of NHS Psychologists in Scotland.

I have also tutored on a Diploma in Counselling so have experience in both formal and informal teaching settings.

 I can develop a bespoke training tailored to your needs, some of the topics I cover include

Understanding and Working with : Violence against Women - Rape & Sexual Assault, Domestic Abuse, Childhood Sexual Abuse.

Trauma - this topic can cover a range of issues, an example being the NHS training which looked at ' Time Limited/Short Term working with Trauma'

Organised and or Ritualised Abuse

Working with Male Survivors

Suicide & Self Harm

Vicarious Trauma/Self care

Boundaries

Support skills

If you would like to find out more and have a chat to see if I might be able to offer a training that would meet your needs please get in touch.

If you decide to send an enquiry and have a Gmail account please add a phone number if you can, often replies are sent to Junk and I try to send a text just to confirm I have replied, or please check Junk.

At the moment I have availability.

I have been a Supervisor since 2018, as the Service Manager  within a Rape & Sexual Assault Centre until 2020, I mainly supervised support workers and counsellors within that project.

 I moved into private practice in Jan 2021 and now Supervise both experienced counsellors and students as well as support workers who use Counselling skills.

I have 25yrs experience of working with Trauma and Abuse, moving from being a support worker myself, to becoming a Counsellor in 2012 and more recently a Supervisor. 

I also Tutor and supervise Placements for students on a Counselling diploma course, so have experience of Supervision Reports.

Self awareness and a willingness to self reflect, be open and authentic are central to the role of Counsellor and I firmly believe, the foundation of good Supervision is the same as that of  Counselling, without a good connection and relationship its hard to take risks and allow yourself to be open and authentic and acknowledge and be compassionate to the parts of yourself you are least comfortable with.

I see my role as one where I create that place of safety, one where I listen, help you to reflect on your practice and make sense of what and why you might be finding your work challenging, to try and help you make sense what's happening between you and your client and help you celebrate the victories and recognise your strengths and skills. 

Being a counsellor is rewarding but also challenging and you are inevitably impacted by it, my role is also to help you maintain a level of self care and when necessary help you reflect on any areas you might need to work on both personally and professionally.

I am happy to meet initially either face to face or via video call free of charge to allow us to decide if we would be a good fit.

If you decide to send an enquiry and have a Gmail account please add a phone number if you can, often replies are sent to Junk and I try to send a text just to confirm I have replied, or please check Junk.