Simone Gold

To help you get a sense of the kind of therapeutic work I try to do with clients, I’ve written some words in the following sections that I feel represent my way of working, and included some words of others which have informed my work too.

First and foremost, I see the work of therapy as a collaborative endeavour between myself and those who seek my help.

I have worked as a BACP-registered counsellor and therapist for 17 years and I feel passionately about the difference that good therapy can make to people’s lives. My work involves running a private practice in East Finchley (N2), working as part of the Counselling and Mental Health Team at a London University and teaching several highly subscribed counselling training courses and workshops in London. Through my previous careers I have a knowledge of the worlds of advertising, PR and publishing, and the world of education and academia.

I trained originally as a psychodynamic therapist in which understanding the power of our unconscious over our thoughts, feelings and behaviour is key. Since then I have developed my thinking and training to integrate other important ideas and ways of working with clients and their issues.

I aim to work with clients for as short a time as is needed – in other words, for as long as it takes to clarify, resolve, understand or move beyond the difficulty. This will vary from client to client and according to the issue we need to deal with. Sometimes we need to allow time and space for feelings to emerge and be attended to in a way that honours and respects them. I am there for clients if they feel it might be useful to return at a later date, or for an occasional review. My hope is always that, through our work together, my clients will develop their own therapeutic voice; the therapy may end but the insight and thinking can continue forever.

'All human beings should try to learn before they die, what they are running from, and to, and why - James Thurber, cartoonist, author, playwright.

‘A thing which has not been understood inevitably reappears; like an unlaid ghost, it cannot rest until the mystery has been resolved and the spell broken’ – Sigmund Freud, founder of psychoanalysis

Early on in our lives we created beliefs and ‘emotional truths’ based on our formative experiences – it’s how we made sense of the world we found ourselves in. We can carry these ideas with us throughout our lives, unmetabolized and unprocessed - ideas about what we should expect, how we should do things, what we need to avoid.

Our shared work is to discover the meaning you have given to your experiences, and what your beliefs are about the way the world works. In this way we might also be able to see the way in which some of these ‘truths’ may have tripped you up in your life, and in your relationships. These beliefs may have been largely unconscious to you up until the point that we do this discovery work, but once uncovered, you will be freed up to find newer, more helpful ways of thinking about your past, your present and your future. And every time we think differently about something we do, or choose to do it differently, we metabolize our embedded experience a little bit more and render it less powerful.

To turn natural sadness into depression, all you have to do is blame yourself for the disaster that has befallen you – Dorothy Rowe

Sometimes it’s hard to let go of troubling thoughts, feelings or behaviour because this might present other dilemmas which we may be only partially aware of. For example, blaming ourselves for something that has happened or gone wrong can feel more ‘comfortable’ and familiar to us than considering what other factors might be involved. We might find ourselves ‘stuck’ in a way of thinking or being, even though we so desperately want to change things. However, by carefully uncovering these hidden dilemmas that keep us stuck in unhelpful patterns, we can find other, healthier ways for you to deal with your difficulties. 

To help you get a sense of the kind of therapeutic work I try to do with clients, I’ve written some words in the following sections that I feel represent my way of working, and included some words of others which have informed my work too.

First and foremost, I see the work of therapy as a collaborative endeavour between myself and those who seek my help.

I have worked as a BACP-registered counsellor and therapist for 17 years and I feel passionately about the difference that good therapy can make to people’s lives. My work involves running a private practice in East Finchley (N2), working as part of the Counselling and Mental Health Team at a London University and teaching several highly subscribed counselling training courses and workshops in London. Through my previous careers I have a knowledge of the worlds of advertising, PR and publishing, and the world of education and academia. 

I trained originally as a psychodynamic therapist in which understanding the power of our unconscious over our thoughts, feelings and behaviour is key. Since then I have developed my thinking and training to integrate other important ideas and ways of working with clients and their issues.

I aim to work with clients for as short a time as is needed – in other words, for as long as it takes to clarify, resolve, understand or move beyond the difficulty. This will vary from client to client and according to the issue we need to deal with. Sometimes we need to allow time and space for feelings to emerge and be attended to in a way that honours and respects them. I am there for clients if they feel it might be useful to return at a later date, or for an occasional review. My hope is always that, through our work together, my clients will develop their own therapeutic voice; the therapy may end but the insight and thinking can continue forever.

'All human beings should try to learn before they die, what they are running from, and to, and why - James Thurber, cartoonist, author, playwright

‘A thing which has not been understood inevitably reappears; like an unlaid ghost, it cannot rest until the mystery has been resolved and the spell broken’ – Sigmund Freud, founder of psychoanalysis

Early on in our lives we created beliefs and ‘emotional truths’ based on our formative experiences – it’s how we made sense of the world we found ourselves in. We can carry these ideas with us throughout our lives, unmetabolized and unprocessed - ideas about what we should expect, how we should do things, what we need to avoid.

Our shared work is to discover the meaning you have given to your experiences, and what your beliefs are about the way the world works. In this way we might also be able to see the way in which some of these ‘truths’ may have tripped you up in your life, and in your relationships. These beliefs may have been largely unconscious to you up until the point that we do this discovery work, but once uncovered, you will be freed up to find newer, more helpful ways of thinking about your past, your present and your future. And every time we think differently about something we do, or choose to do it differently, we metabolize our embedded experience a little bit more and render it less powerful.

To turn natural sadness into depression, all you have to do is blame yourself for the disaster that has befallen you – Dorothy Rowe

Sometimes it’s hard to let go of troubling thoughts, feelings or behaviour because this might present other dilemmas which we may be only partially aware of. For example, blaming ourselves for something that has happened or gone wrong can feel more ‘comfortable’ and familiar to us than considering what other factors might be involved.  We might find ourselves ‘stuck’ in a way of thinking or being, even though we so desperately want to change things. However, by carefully uncovering these hidden dilemmas that keep us stuck in unhelpful patterns, we can find other, healthier ways for you to deal with your difficulties. 

It may feel a daunting task trying to find a therapist that you feel will be the right one for you, who will fit well with you and can truly understand your difficulties and concerns. I advise people to remember that ‘one size does not fit all’ and that they have the right to take their time in deciding if they want to work with someone. I always suggest a preliminary phone conversation in order to help you decide whether you would like us to meet for a first session, and often those conversations can help to clarify what the issues are that need attending to.  

My sessions are 50 minutes long and where possible, I offer these on a weekly or fortnightly basis. When appropriate, I also offer an extended solution-focused consultation of 75 minutes plus a follow-up session.

'The Good Life is a process, not a state of being' - Carl Rogers, founder of Person-Centred Therapy