Julie Elliott

I currently have online and  in person appointments available on:

Mondays from 1-2.45 pm

Wednesdays 1.30pm -2.30pm

Thursdays 9am - 11.15am

Fridays 10.30 - 12 noon 

Hi my name is Jules and I am an Emotionally Focused Couple’s Therapist. I work with couples online and also in person from my office in Rugby. 

 I work with couples who are struggling with conflict, communication and distress in their relationship. Maybe you have become disconnected over the years and feel more like strangers, or maybe you’re recovering from an affair. Our work together will focus on the negative patterns and habits that you find yourselves in and the unresolved relationship injuries that are holding you back and causing your relationship to feel stuck in rut. Together we will work on creating a safe space where you can better understand each other’s feelings and fears and see how this has impacted on your relationship. The aim is to rebuild your emotional bonds and connection.

I have evening and daytime slots available. I work with couples on a weekly basis (this is necessary if our work together is to gain some traction).  

Using the emotionally focused therapy model, we first work on the here and now of identifying the negative pattern of interaction that contributes to your conflict and discomfort. This process helps you to identify how your insecurities and fears affect their relationship. We also pay attention to issues that may reside in your early attachments and work together to understand how this might play out in present relationships. 

We will look at patterns of shutting down and withdrawing and angry escalations and work together to understand which emotions are driving the behaviours and reactions. There is a focus on identifying the obstacles that have prevented feelings of trust, safety and connection. 

Through the work that we do in the therapy room, couples learn to be emotionally available, empathetic, and engaged with each other, strengthening the attachment bond and creating a safe place between them.

Our focus is not on the reactive behaviour but on the emotions that drive that behaviour, we work in a way that allows each person the opportunity to feel their emotion, to express it and to understand it with their partner's support provides the essence of change for the individual allowing them to move from feeling isolated to being emotionally connected with their partner. 

This process allows couples to interact in a new way and become more emotionally available to each other. 

I offer an initial conversation via zoom. During this time, we discuss what brings you to therapy, and what you would like to get from the therapy. I will say a little bit about how I work and whether I feel able to support you therapeutically. 

If we decide that we feel able to work together, we will compare our diaries and book in the first session. 

Thereafter, I will meet you together for a 60 minute session, in the next two sessions I will see you both individually, and thereafter I will see you together.  

I currently  have daytime availability on 

Monday afternoons from 1 - 3 pm   

Thursday mornings from 9.15 - 11 am.

Friday Morning at 10.30 am

I offer couples therapy using the Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) model which is rooted in attachment theory. We often find that relationship difficulties arise when couples experience emotional disconnection. These disruptions can lead to persistent negative cycles that become challenging to break. Using EFT I aim to help couples navigate these patterns, re-establish a secure connection, and foster a healthy, loving bond.

During our sessions we will:

Recognize and Reconnect: Learn to identify moments of disconnection and know how to reconnect effectively.

Deepen Connection: Work together to strengthen and deepen your relationship.

Focus on Conflict: View the negative cycle of conflict as the common enemy, rather than each other.

Voice Your Feelings: Find your voice and communicate your feelings and needs within the relationship.

We will ask the following questions and identify what areas require focus

Do you and your partner truly understand and value each other?

Are your arguments often critical or defensive?

Does your relationship provide a safe space where you can be your true self?

Are you caught in a cycle of negative interactions?

Do you withdraw and stop communicating for days when feeling undervalued?

Do you feel your partner will be there for you when you need them most?

During our work together, I take a neutral stance and observe the process between you. I understand that safety and trust issues exist within a distressed relationship and so I support you by creating a safe, supportive environment where there is no judgement.

This facilitates the building of connections, resilience and a deepening loving bond.

I use the EFT model to get to the core of your relationship distress by accessing the underlying relationship issues, providing opportunities for accessibility, responsiveness and engagement for each partner.

The strengths of the model that I use are:

Research-Based: Over 20 years of research supports the effectiveness of EFT across various relationship issues, including depression, PTSD, and chronic illness.

Safe Environment: EFT helps couples navigate safety and trust issues within a distressed relationship, offering a supportive and secure environment.

Healing Patterns: EFT addresses and heals negative relationship patterns, promoting a healthy connection, resilience, and deepening bond.

Core Issues: EFT targets the underlying issues in relationship distress, enhancing accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement for both partners.

By addressing these aspects, EFT can help you to build a more secure, resilient, and loving relationship

In our first session we will meet together to discuss what brings you to therapy. Both partners will have the change to have their say. We will discuss how you met, how long you have been together, what your strengths are and together we will explore where things started to go wrong.

The second and third sessions involve me meeting you individually to discuss your relationship history, going back to your childhood to understand your experience of attachment relationships.

In the fourth session, we meet altogether and discuss your shared goals for the therapy. For the remainder of the sessions we will all meet together.

Sessions can be 60 minutes or 90 minutes. 

I offer remote sessions via Zoom.

I have space on:

Mondays from 1-2.45 pm

Wednesdays 1.30pm -2.30pm

Thursdays 9am - 11.15am

Fridays 10.30 - 12 noon 

I am a couples therapist and I use Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to help couples rebuild their emotional connections and strengthen their relationships. In our work we focus on how your emotions  shape both individual behaviour and your relationship dynamic.

At the heart of our work together is the understanding the need to seek secure emotional connections. When these connections are threatened or broken, individuals can experience profound emotional distress, leading to negative interaction patterns.

This mode of couples therapy seeks to create a more secure and positive bond. This process involves identifying and altering the negative cycles of interaction that are perpetuated by unmet emotional needs and fears. 

As you become more attuned to your emotions and those of your partner, you can respond in ways that foster trust, empathy, and intimacy.

Our work together will be structured around three main stages. The first stage is assessment and de-escalation. This involves identifying negative interaction patterns and the emotions driving them.

 In the second stage, restructuring interactions, the therapist helps the couple develop new ways of responding to each other that promote positive emotional engagement. 

The final stage, consolidation and integration, focuses on reinforcing these new interaction patterns and ensuring they are integrated into the couple's daily life.

The techniques used in EFT, help partners hear and understand each other's perspectives. This empathetic engagement allows them to see their partner's behaviour in a new light, reducing conflict and promoting security and closeness. 

During our session we may use some simple practical steps to:

Learn to notice when you begin to disconnect and know how to reconnect again.

Work with each other to connect and deepen your relationship.

Come together and focus on the negative cycle of conflict as the enemy.

To be able to find your own voice and tell your partner how you are doing in the relationship.

Enquiry sessions are offered via Zoom. These last between 30 and 45 minutes. If it feels like we would be able to work together, we book in the first session. This can be for a 60 minute (£100) or 90 minute (£150) duration. We discuss your relationship history from the beginning and address where things may have started to go wrong. 

In the following two meetings, I meet you both separately and we discuss your early relationships and then we meet together again for the fourth meeting and set your goals and objectives. 

I then create a visual map of your relationship, incorporating the dynamics of withdrawal and pursuit and together we build up a picture of how attachment experiences play out in present day situations. 

I offer remote sessions via Zoom.

I have space on:

Mondays from 1-2.45 pm

Wednesdays 1.30pm -2.30pm

Thursdays 9am - 11.15am

Fridays 10.30 - 12 noon 

I am a couples therapist and I use a model of therapy called Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). This is rooted in attachment theory, and works on the premise that we have an innate need for strong emotional bonds in relationships. 

I recognise that relationship difficulties  arise when couples experience emotional disconnection. These disruptions can lead to persistent negative cycles that become challenging to break.  I aim to help couples navigate these patterns, re-establish a secure connection, and foster a healthy, loving bond.

Practical Steps During Sessions:

Recognize and Reconnect: Learn to identify moments of disconnection and know how to reconnect effectively.

Deepen Connection: Work together to strengthen and deepen your relationship.

Focus on Conflict: View the negative cycle of conflict as the common enemy, rather than each other.

Envision a Positive Future: EFT provides a hopeful outlook for your relationship, fostering a vision of a better future together.

Voice Your Feelings: Find your voice and communicate your feelings and needs within the relationship.

During our sessions we will reflect on your relationship by asking and addressing the following questions: 

 Do you feel truly understood and valued by your partner? It's important in a relationship to feel heard and appreciated.

 Are your arguments often critical or defensive? Understanding the nature of your conflicts can help identify patterns that need addressing.

Does your relationship provide a safe space where you can be your true self? Feeling safe to express your authentic self is crucial for a healthy bond.

Are you caught in a cycle of negative interactions? Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward change.

 Are you struggling to find a path back to a loving relationship? EFT can guide you through this process.

Do you withdraw and stop communicating for days when feeling undervalued? This can indicate a need for improved emotional connection.

Do you feel your partner will be there for you when you need them most? Trust and dependability are key components of a secure relationship.

I offer an enquiry  conversation via zoom or telephone. During this time, we discuss what you would like to get from therapy and how I may be able able to work with you towards achieving that.  

If we decide that we can work with each other, we will book a first appointment where we will meet together to discuss how you met, what your strengths are, and explore the issues that you would like to resolve in therapy. 

Sessions cost £100 for 60 minutes and £150 for 90 minutes. 

I offer remote sessions via Zoom.

I have space on:

Mondays from 1-2.45 pm

Wednesdays 1.30pm -2.30pm

Thursdays 9am - 11.15am

Fridays 10.30 - 12 noon 

I offer couples therapy using the Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) model which is rooted in attachment theory. We often find that relationship difficulties arise when couples experience emotional disconnection. These disruptions can lead to persistent negative cycles that become challenging to break. Using EFT I aim to help couples navigate these patterns, re-establish a secure connection, and foster a healthy, loving bond.

During our sessions we will:

Recognize and Reconnect: Learn to identify moments of disconnection and know how to reconnect effectively.

Deepen Connection: Work together to strengthen and deepen your relationship.

Focus on Conflict: View the negative cycle of conflict as the common enemy, rather than each other.

Voice Your Feelings: Find your voice and communicate your feelings and needs within the relationship.

The strengths of the model that I use are:

Research-Based: Over 20 years of research supports the effectiveness of EFT across various relationship issues, including depression, PTSD, and chronic illness.

Safe Environment: EFT helps couples navigate safety and trust issues within a distressed relationship, offering a supportive and secure environment.

Healing Patterns: EFT addresses and heals negative relationship patterns, promoting a healthy connection, resilience, and deepening bond.

Core Issues: EFT targets the underlying issues in relationship distress, enhancing accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement for both partners.

By addressing these aspects, EFT can help you to build a more secure, resilient, and loving relationship.

In our sessions we will address the negative cycle and work together so that you understand and value each other. Identifying conflicts and addressing the patterns that have become deep rooted habits. We will create a safe space so that you feel able to express your fears.

We will ask the following questions and identify what areas require focus and

Do you and your partner truly understand and value each other?

Are your arguments often critical or defensive?

Does your relationship provide a safe space where you can be your true self?

Are you caught in a cycle of negative interactions?

Do you withdraw and stop communicating for days when feeling undervalued?

Do you feel your partner will be there for you when you need them most?

During our work together, I take a neutral stance and observe the process between you. I understand that safety and trust issues exist within a distressed relationship and so I support you by creating a safe, supportive environment where there is no judgement.

This facilitates the building of connections, resilience and a deepening loving bond.

I use the EFT model to get to the core of your relationship distress by accessing the underlying relationship issues, providing opportunities for accessibility, responsiveness and engagement for each partner.

I offer a 30 minute conversation via telephone. or zoom. During this time, we discuss what you would like to get from therapy and how I may be able able to work with you towards achieving that.

If we decide that we can work with each other, we will take a look at the counselling contract together.

My philosophy is non-pathologising, I don’t view clients as problems to be solved or objects to be labelled. Each person I meet is a unique individual and I am interested in how each individual experiences emotions, relationships and life itself.

I hold a First Class Honours degree from the University of Warwick and continue to enjoy self development and training courses that ensure that I do not become complacent in my therapeutic practice.