Julie Elliott

 My hours of work are: 

Monday         1.30 - 2.30 In person (Rugby)

Wednesday  9.30 - 8.00 In person (Rugby)

Thursday       9.30 - 8.00 In person (Rugby)

Friday             9.30 - 2.30 In person (Rugby)

I am a couples therapist and I use a model of therapy called Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). This is rooted in attachment theory, and works on the premise that we have an innate need for strong emotional bonds in relationships. 

I recognise that relationship difficulties  arise when couples experience emotional disconnection. These disruptions can lead to persistent negative cycles that become challenging to break.  I aim to help couples navigate these patterns, re-establish a secure connection, and foster a healthy, loving bond.

Practical Steps During Sessions:

Recognize and Reconnect: Learn to identify moments of disconnection and know how to reconnect effectively.

Deepen Connection: Work together to strengthen and deepen your relationship.

Focus on Conflict: View the negative cycle of conflict as the common enemy, rather than each other.

Envision a Positive Future: EFT provides a hopeful outlook for your relationship, fostering a vision of a better future together.

Voice Your Feelings: Find your voice and communicate your feelings and needs within the relationship.

During our sessions we will reflect on your relationship by asking and addressing the following questions: 

 Do you feel truly understood and valued by your partner? It's important in a relationship to feel heard and appreciated.

 Are your arguments often critical or defensive? Understanding the nature of your conflicts can help identify patterns that need addressing.

Does your relationship provide a safe space where you can be your true self? Feeling safe to express your authentic self is crucial for a healthy bond.

Are you caught in a cycle of negative interactions? Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward change.

 Are you struggling to find a path back to a loving relationship? EFT can guide you through this process.

Do you withdraw and stop communicating for days when feeling undervalued? This can indicate a need for improved emotional connection.

Do you feel your partner will be there for you when you need them most? Trust and dependability are key components of a secure relationship.

I offer an enquiry  conversation via zoom or telephone. During this time, we discuss what you would like to get from therapy and how I may be able able to work with you towards achieving that.  

If we decide that we can work with each other, we will book a first appointment where we will meet together to discuss how you met, what your strengths are, and explore the issues that you would like to resolve in therapy. 

Sessions cost £80 for 60 minutes and £120 for 90 minutes. 

I offer remote sessions by telephone and Zoom.

I work from Monday to Friday between 9.15am until 2.45pm.

I also have evening sessions available on request.

I am a couples therapist and I use Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to help couples rebuild their emotional connections and strengthen their relationships. In our work we focus on how your emotions  shape both individual behaviour and your relationship dynamic.

At the heart of our work together is the understanding the need to seek secure emotional connections. When these connections are threatened or broken, individuals can experience profound emotional distress, leading to negative interaction patterns.

This mode of couples therapy seeks to create a more secure and positive bond. This process involves identifying and altering the negative cycles of interaction that are perpetuated by unmet emotional needs and fears. 

As you become more attuned to your emotions and those of your partner, you can respond in ways that foster trust, empathy, and intimacy.

Our work together will be structured around three main stages. The first stage is assessment and de-escalation. This involves identifying negative interaction patterns and the emotions driving them.

 In the second stage, restructuring interactions, the therapist helps the couple develop new ways of responding to each other that promote positive emotional engagement. 

The final stage, consolidation and integration, focuses on reinforcing these new interaction patterns and ensuring they are integrated into the couple's daily life.

The techniques used in EFT, help partners hear and understand each other's perspectives. This empathetic engagement allows them to see their partner's behaviour in a new light, reducing conflict and promoting security and closeness. 

During our session we may use some simple practical steps to:

Learn to notice when you begin to disconnect and know how to reconnect again.

Work with each other to connect and deepen your relationship.

Come together and focus on the negative cycle of conflict as the enemy.

To be able to find your own voice and tell your partner how you are doing in the relationship.

Enquiry sessions are offered via Zoom. These last between 30 and 45 minutes. If it feels like we would be able to work together, we book in the first session. This can be for a 60 minute (£80) or 90 minute (£120) duration. We discuss your relationship history from the beginning and address where things may have started to go wrong. 

In the following two meetings, I meet you both separately and we discuss your early relationships and then we meet together again for the fourth meeting and set your goals and objectives. 

I then create a visual map of your relationship, incorporating the dynamics of withdrawal and pursuit and together we build up a picture of how attachment experiences play out in present day situations. 

I have online availability in the daytime on: 

Mondays between 1.30pm  and 3pm  and 6pm and 9pm 

Wednesdays between 9.15 and 3pm 

Thursdays between 9.15 and 3pm

I offer couples therapy using the Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) model which  is rooted in attachment theory. We often find that relationship difficulties  arise when couples experience emotional disconnection. These disruptions can lead to persistent negative cycles that become challenging to break. Using EFT I aim to help couples navigate these patterns, re-establish a secure connection, and foster a healthy, loving bond.

During our sessions we will:

Recognize and Reconnect: Learn to identify moments of disconnection and know how to reconnect effectively.

Deepen Connection: Work together to strengthen and deepen your relationship.

Focus on Conflict: View the negative cycle of conflict as the common enemy, rather than each other.

Voice Your Feelings: Find your voice and communicate your feelings and needs within the relationship.

The strengths of the model that I use are:

Research-Based: Over 20 years of research supports the effectiveness of EFT across various relationship issues, including depression, PTSD, and chronic illness.

Safe Environment: EFT helps couples navigate safety and trust issues within a distressed relationship, offering a supportive and secure environment.

Healing Patterns: EFT addresses and heals negative relationship patterns, promoting a healthy connection, resilience, and deepening bond.

Core Issues: EFT targets the underlying issues in relationship distress, enhancing accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement for both partners.

By addressing these aspects, EFT can help you to build a more secure, resilient, and loving relationship.

In our sessions we will address the negative cycle and work together so that you understand and value each other. Identifying conflicts and addressing the patterns that have become deep rooted habits. We will create a safe space so that you feel able to express your fears.  

We will ask the following questions and identify what areas require focus and 

Do you and your partner truly understand and value each other?

Are your arguments often critical or defensive?

Does your relationship provide a safe space where you can be your true self?

Are you caught in a cycle of negative interactions?

Do you withdraw and stop communicating for days when feeling undervalued?

Do you feel your partner will be there for you when you need them most?

During our work together, I take a neutral stance and observe the process between you. I understand that safety and trust issues  exist within a distressed relationship and so I support you by creating a safe, supportive environment where there is no judgement.

This facilitates the building of connections, resilience and a deepening loving bond.

I use the EFT model to get to the core of your relationship distress by accessing the underlying relationship issues, providing opportunities for accessibility, responsiveness and engagement for each partner.

In our first session we will meet together to discuss what brings you to therapy. Both partners will have the change to have their say. We will discuss how you met, how long you have been together, what your strengths are and together we will explore where things started to go wrong. 

The second and third sessions involve me meeting you individually to discuss your relationship history, going back to your childhood to understand your experience of attachment relationships. 

In the fourth session, we meet altogether and discuss your shared goals for the therapy.  For the remainder of the sessions we will all meet together. 

Sessions can be 60 minutes or 90 minutes. 

I offer remote sessions by telephone and Zoom.

I work from Monday to Friday between 9.15am until 2.45pm. 

I also have evening sessions available on request.

Our sessions will provide the space where you can say whatever it is that is on your mind, you can describe whatever it is that you have been through.  Your feelings are welcome here and can be expressed however you like. It is ok to say them out loud! They wont be judged but will be heard and seen and understood from your perspective. 

The sessions are an opportunity for you to work out exactly what it is that you feel upset, confused or in conflict about, and will be an opportunity for you to explore what that means for you, and maybe where you might decide to go from here. 

Sessions are by telephone or online using the zoom platform. They last 60 minutes and can booked as frequently or infrequently as you need. You are in charge of the intensity and the pace. 

My philosophy is non-pathologising, I don’t view clients as problems to be solved or objects to be labelled. Each person I meet is a unique individual and I am interested in how each individual experiences emotions, relationships and life itself.

I hold a First Class Honours degree from the University of Warwick and continue to enjoy self development and training courses that ensure that I do not become complacent in my therapeutic practice.

My specialist area is with people who have experienced trauma, neglect or abuse in their life. I also work with people who have low esteem and self-confidence and people who struggle with anxiety.

I work in a way that empowers you to realise your full potential, through careful listening and attunement with your emotions. I believe that you have your own unique story, and this will always be the basis for our sessions. I will be sensitively attuned to hearing YOUR experience and will receive it empathically and respectfully, whatever your situation is. I am here to support you on your chosen journey.

My offer is an honest, open and transparent way of being. I will hold a space for you that feels dependable and trustworthy and we will work at a pace that feels right for you. You will be in charge of the accelerator, the brake and the steering wheel!

Whatever you bring to therapy, my attention is on you as a human being. Experience has taught me that once a person feels heard and understood, they feel better able to understand and offer acceptance to themselves, from here, change will happen.

Much of my therapeutic experience has involved working with trauma such as childhood neglect, rape and sexual abuse. I also work with clients seeking support with bereavement, anxiety, self-esteem and depression, those who are struggling with relationship issues, and stress resulting from belonging to minority groups. I work with clients who experience changeable moods and those who find emotions difficult to regulate or tolerate.

Above all, I am experienced at working with people who are in distress or discomfort and feel that they are ready for a change.

I offer a 30 minute conversation via telephone. or zoom. During this time, we discuss what you would like to get from therapy and how I may be able able to work with you towards achieving that.

If we decide that we can work with each other, we will take a look at the counselling contract together.

My philosophy is non-pathologising, I don’t view clients as problems to be solved or objects to be labelled. Each person I meet is a unique individual and I am interested in how each individual experiences emotions, relationships and life itself.

I hold a First Class Honours degree from the University of Warwick and continue to enjoy self development and training courses that ensure that I do not become complacent in my therapeutic practice.

I currently have online and  in person availability (in Rugby) for daytime and evening appointments. 

Hi my name is Jules and I am an Emotionally Focused Couple’s Therapist. I work with couples online and also in person from my office in Rugby. 

 I work with couples who are struggling with conflict, communication and distress in their relationship. Maybe you have become disconnected over the years and feel more like strangers, or maybe you’re recovering from an affair. Our work together will focus on the negative patterns and habits that you find yourselves in and the unresolved relationship injuries that are holding you back and causing your relationship to feel stuck in rut. Together we will work on creating a safe space where you can better understand each other’s feelings and fears and see how this has impacted on your relationship. The aim is to rebuild your emotional bonds and connection.

I have evening and daytime slots available. I work with couples on a weekly basis (this is necessary if our work together is to gain some traction).  

Using the emotionally focused therapy model, we first work on the here and now of identifying the negative pattern of interaction that contributes to your conflict and discomfort. This process helps you to identify how your insecurities and fears affect their relationship. We also pay attention to issues that may reside in your early attachments and work together to understand how this might play out in present relationships. 

We will look at patterns of shutting down and withdrawing and angry escalations and work together to understand which emotions are driving the behaviours and reactions. There is a focus on identifying the obstacles that have prevented feelings of trust, safety and connection. 

Through the work that we do in the therapy room, couples learn to be emotionally available, empathetic, and engaged with each other, strengthening the attachment bond and creating a safe place between them.

Our focus is not on the reactive behaviour but on the emotions that drive that behaviour, we work in a way that allows each person the opportunity to feel their emotion, to express it and to understand it with their partner's support provides the essence of change for the individual allowing them to move from feeling isolated to being emotionally connected with their partner. 

This process allows couples to interact in a new way and become more emotionally available to each other. 

I offer an initial conversation via zoom. During this time, we discuss what brings you to therapy, and what you would like to get from the therapy. I will say a little bit about how I work and whether I feel able to support you therapeutically. 

If we decide that we feel able to work together, we will compare our diaries and book in the first session. 

Thereafter, I will meet you together for a 90 minute session, in the next two sessions I will see you both individually, and thereafter I will see you together.