Martin Firstbrook

Relationships are central to our lives, so why are they so difficult?! 

​I start from the perspective that relationship challenges, whilst uncomfortable, are opportunities for us to understand our partners and ourselves better.  Although difficult to see initially, these difficulties can often provide the raw material for personal growth and a deepening of connection. However, we are rarely taught how to explore and understand our differences and challenges in a way that leads to this growth and depth. 

​Couples counselling is different from individual counselling and therapy because the primary focus is on "the between", the dynamic of the relationship itself.  I support you as a couple by helping you to understand the patterns that have developed between you, identify strengths and weaknesses in your relationship and working with you to develop new approaches that build connection and intimacy. 

I have worked successfully with couples at all stages of their relationship, from pre-marriage/commitment to 40yrs of marriage.  Each stage of relationship development has it's own challenges to be explored and understood.  

I do not take sides. I support each of you to notice your own patterns of relating, how your combined patterns of relating are affecting the relationship and what you can do differently to break the relational patterns you are in. In addition to supporting you to explore and understand what is underneath the surface of your difficulties, the sessions can also be practical, working with live issues and experimenting with different approaches of relating to one another.

​Learning any new skill requires us to slow down and be deliberate in our approach. We don't become experts in understanding one another and managing our relationships overnight, just as we cannot learn to play the piano overnight. However, with a supportive therapist and a willingness to experiment with different ways of engaging with one another, significant changes can happen.

​Just as with my 1:1 work, when you work with me as a couple, there will be times of serious reflection, but there will also times of lightness. I will engage with you both actively, including sharing ideas and practices that will support the development of your relationship.

The couples therapy process includes an initial assessment phase, which includes:

An initial exploration of your challenges together - 50min initial consultation

An individual session each to raise awareness of your personal perspective and learned patterns of thinking and relating - 50min individual session each

Psychometric questionnaires to support the identification of strengths and weaknesses in your relationship (where appropriate)

Following these steps, we will discuss the key themes identified and agree goals for our work together - 50min couples session

​Once we are beyond the assessment phase, we will initially meet weekly, exploring live challenges you are facing together and practicing new ways of relating to one another. I will often ask you to practice with new ways of relating and building your relationship between sessions to move things along more quickly. When you have made good progress, we will typically reduce the frequency of sessions for period and then move to completion. Some couples continue to return periodically to support the growth and development of their relationship over the long term.

​Next Steps

You can make an initial consultation appointment on the bookings page of my website or you can contact me via text, email or phone to make a general enquiry. I sometimes have availability not shown through the online booking system so please get in touch if you don't see a suitable time

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Couples Therapy, Couples Counselling, Marriage Counselling, Relationship Coaching. Affairs and betrayal. Separation and divorce.  Preparing for Marriage. 

I offer counselling and psychotherapy (individual and couples), coaching, or a combination as required at any given time. I have worked successfully with clients from a wide range of backgrounds, including City professionals and business owners, rock band drummers, actors, medical professionals, fashion stylists, the unemployed and everyone in-between. 

I work with individuals and couples who are struggling with life and work challenges for all sorts of reasons including anxiety, anger, relationship and family difficulties, infidelity, depression, bereavement, imposter syndrome, finding meaning, and career direction. My training is integrative, which allows me to adapt my approach to your unique needs. As a result, my approach may range from a cognitive approach, to a more imaginative and intuitive approach as the situation demands.

I am an actively involved as a therapist and coach. There will be times where it is important for me to simply listen and to help you listen to yourself. However, when appropriate, I will also engage with you actively, including sharing ideas and thoughts that may support meaning making and understanding of your situation.

Next Steps

The first step is to contact me outlining a little about what's going on for you, via email, text or we can speak on the phone. If I feel I can help, we will then meet for an initial session. If we decide to work together we will normally agree a series weekly sessions, after which time we will review to see if more sessions will be beneficial to you. Alternatively, you can just put your toe in the water, one week at a time.

Fees

Initial consultation - £50 (£60 for couples)

Further sessions: £110 (£125 for couples)

The first session is an opportunity for us both to get to know one another.  We will explore what has brought you to seeking out support, some of your history and any questions you have about me and the process.  At the end of the session we should both have the information we need to decide whether we are a good fit to continue working together. 

I work online and face to face.  I offer counselling, psychotherapy (individual or couple) and coaching, or a combination as required at any given time.  I have worked successfully with clients from a wide range of backgrounds, including City professionals, rock band drummers, actors, fashion stylists and the unemployed.

I work with individuals and couples who are struggling with life,  work and relationships for all sorts of reasons including anxiety, anger, relationship and family difficulties, depression, bereavement, imposter syndrome, finding meaning, and career direction. My training is integrative, which allows me to adapt my approach to your unique needs. As a result, my approach may range from a cognitive approach, to a more imaginative and intuitive approach as the situation demands.

I am an actively involved as a therapist and coach. There will be times where it is important for me to simply listen and to help you listen to yourself. However, when appropriate, I will also engage with you actively, including sharing ideas and thoughts that may support meaning making and understanding of your situation.

Next Steps

The first step is to contact me outlining a little about what's going on for you, via email, text or we can speak on the phone. If I feel I can help, we will then meet for an initial session. If we decide to work together we will normally agree a series weekly sessions, after which time we will review to see if more sessions will be beneficial to you. Alternatively, you can just put your toe in the water, one week at a time.

Fees

Initial consultation - £50 (£60 for couples)

Further sessions: £110 (£125 for couples)