Lucy Dows

Whenever we begin to feel ‘off’ the first question we ask ourselves is, ‘what’s wrong with me?’ We look at those around us and wonder how everyone else seems to have it together whilst we’re barely getting through the day. To make matters worse we criticize ourselves for being ‘weak.' There’s a false assumption that talking about your problems will only make them worse but the good news is that the opposite is actually true. Talking about what’s bothering you can be a huge relief and frees up space for something new. You won’t lose any life points for admitting that you’re having a hard time. In fact research shows that admitting to our difficulties often strengthens our connection to others. Given that most of us will feel lonely and/or isolated at one time or another this doesn’t seem like such a bad idea. 

You currently find yourself navigating the online world which leaves you overwhelmed and questioning whether you’re doing life right. Am I making the most of it? Have I hit the socially sanctioned milestones and achieved everything I set out to? When you fall short of your high expectations personally or professionally you might find yourself face to face with the fear of failure. Usually we go one of two ways. We either double down on our efforts to prove our worth, (hello anxiety), or we give up and succumb to self criticism, (enter depression). Amidst a culture that glorifies 12 hour work days and where busyness is worn as a badge of honour it’s no wonder that you’re feeling increasingly frazzled as you strive to keep up.

Human beings are relational creatures and we’re hardwired to seek connection and community. Problems arise when we start to believe that there’s an ultimate way of living/being/doing. When we buy into the fantasy of shiny people with shiny lives it becomes even harder to admit to our vulnerabilities and share them with others. Nevertheless our shortcomings and eccentricities are what ultimately make us human.

I work predominantly with millennials who are feeling the pressure to perform both personally and professionally. This can often lead to perfectionism, social anxiety and low self esteem. Maybe you're stuck in a negative thought pattern or behaviour that you'd like to change but don't know how. Or perhaps you're feeling something that you can't make sense of. Therapy can provide a useful reflective space to begin to untangle what's going on.

To find out more about me and how I work you can visit www.lucydows.com