Marian Holmes

I currently have availability on most weekdays, after-school hours and evenings.  As I work with young adults and school/college-aged people, I can be flexible with when I see you.   Please contact me for more specific information. 

I am a psychodynamic counsellor and psychotherapist working with children, adolescents and young adults.  The psychodynamic approach works with the "unconscious" as well as the "conscious" mind. 

Think of our mind like an iceberg: the invisible section under the water is much larger than the visible section above the water, and yet it is the invisible part that causes shipwrecks.  Our unconscious mind (the underwater part) stores our memories, emotions, thoughts, yet holds great influence in our everyday life.  

We might experience fear, anxiety or anger but not understand why: "When the boss calls me into his office, I feel like a child again."  The reason could be connected to a forgotten experience or trauma and buried in our unconscious mind, only to be triggered by an experience in the present.

As a psychodynamic psychotherapist, I listen to the unspoken, as well as the spoken words, and gently reflect on what I hear.  In this way, links and connections can be made between past and present experiences.

Sometimes conversation can be difficult in a session and there may be periods of silence. This too, is important communication and can be very useful.  People may find the silences difficult to manage but over time can begin to appreciate the thinking that takes place at those moments.

As a therapist, I work with my clients weekly, or more often if we agree that this would provide a more secure environment.  Psychodynamic therapy works on the basis that the therapist is always available at the agreed time (barring emergencies) even if the client cannot, or does not wish to, attend: the absent client is still the client.  For this reason, payment is required for missed sessions as I will be present in the room at your regular time. 

As I work with different age groups, I tailor my sessions accordingly (please see "Practice Description"), but the psychodynamic process is the same.  

Engaging in psychotherapy is about entering into a unique relationship which will affect client and therapist in as yet unknown ways.  I understand this is not a decision to be made lightly and can be daunting.   I offer a welcoming, non-judgemental space where you or your child can come and explore things that may be holding you back.  

Children: The language of children is one of play. A child working through traumatic experiences may find it easier to express emotion through play characters. "The doll feels scared", can feel less threatening than "I feel scared".  Over time, links can be made with the child's own emotions.  For this reason, my room is discreetly equipped with toys and activities, including a doll's house, sand tray, building blocks (Lego, Jenga etc), paper, pens and cuddly toys.

NB: Sometimes a child acts out unconscious difficulties within the family, becoming the "problem-child".  Working with children requires working with the parents in order to explore possible systemic causes of presenting issues.  This can be discussed during our initial contact. 

The adolescent world can be full of turmoil and questions where everything is up for grabs: gender, sexuality, bullying, relationships etc.  Unprocessed emotions can lead to despair, depression, self-harm or suicidal thoughts.  The internet can be as "binary" and confusing at the real world.  I believe the therapy room is a place where everything can be aired freely and explored without judgement.  

For young adults, leaving school, college or home, going to Uni or entering the world of work can be both exciting and anxiety-ridden.  At times of change, familiar questions of adolescence can raise their head.  We want to be an adult but seem held back by unwanted childhood emotions and reactions.  Finding our place in society is increasingly confusing with so many choices and changes in the world.  Having a regular space in therapy to explore thoughts and feelings can help us move forward with confidence and hope. 

How we get started: 

Our first contact is usually by email or phone.  I offer a 30-minute telephone conversation free of charge, during which we can discuss your (or the young person's) needs.  At this point, we can arrange a one-off face to face session to discuss things in more detail if necessary.  

After this, I suggest a 3-session assessment which is geared towards the age of the potential client.  A commitment to this process is required if a clear picture of how to move forward is to be established.

Although I like to take a family and medical history of the potential client, conversation often leads into areas other than the specific presenting issues.  This is fine and can show us what is going on "under the surface", unconsciously.  Everything we bring to a session is important at that moment and time will be given to it.

Children

1) Meeting with parents to take a medical and family history and discuss presenting issues;

2) Meeting with parents (both if possible) and young person to hear and discuss different perspectives on the situation;

3) Meeting with the young person on their own.

A feedback session can be requested at this stage and we can discuss how to go forward. 

Adolescents

The 3-session assessment will take place as above, starting with the parent meeting.  However, flexibility is offered during the next two sessions and parents may be asked to wait outside as an adolescent can find it more difficult to talk with their parents present.  

Following the assessment, a feedback session can be requested to discuss how to go forward. 

Young Adults (18-25)

A 3-session assessment period is suggested with young adults in order to establish a clear picture of the presenting difficulties.  Parents are not usually involved in this process, unless requested by the young person, as the age of majority has been reached.  However, some parental contact may be necessary as it is usually the parent who pays the invoice!