Ruby Aujla

Relationship Counseling 

Many individuals contact me expressing relationship struggles, for a space to explore what they may be experiencing in their intimate relationships.

Relationships are risky, we risk feeling our most vulnerable with somebody who we trust with our most vulnerable parts. 

This means that our hopes can be high, we risk disappointment, we can struggle to trust once we have experienced hurt and our protective parts can then fight against feelings of vulnerability. Past fears tend to become triggered in certain relational dynamics which can cause individuals to react on survival responses, fighting, freezing or exiting situations.

Individuals may find themselves looking for signs they can not trust the other, vigilant for signs of the relationship possibly not working, feelings of anger around not feeling important, as well as fearing themselves not being enough for the other / fearing abandonment.

Relationships have a strong impact on our mental and physical health and they are important for our wellbeing. However, many have found themselves in painful dynamics, repeating the same cycles of distress within their relationships. If you recognise that you are struggling with relationship difficulties, or that you are part of a couple who are experiencing repeating themes of arguments and ruptures, or there has been an incident your relationship is not recovering from, I welcome you to contact me!

I have a lot of experience working with couples exploring:

- communication and conflict.

- ways of regulating when triggered.

- ways partners feel seen & understood.

- exploring hopes and values.

- understanding anxieties. 

- I have a lot of experience working with partners from differing cultural backgrounds, exploring culturally understood beliefs and values. 

In these sessions we can explore what the fears are in a safe environment, where our aim is to be curious, hopefully decreasing shame and helping individuals understand themselves and each-other far more deeply. 

Please see my website for further details.

Within the first session I like to do a little history taking. I will ask some questions to learn about a couple's history which is relevant to where they may find themselves stuck today.

Often couples don't know where to start in therapy and the first session is helpful to explore what area may need to be focused on first and what causes the most difficulty.

I offer space for couples to ask me any questions they have including what frequency of sessions and flexibility of sessions work for them.

As I hear each individual's story, I draw upon concepts of Jungian Analysis, Parts Work Theory & Transactional Analysis. I draw upon these teachings as they organically connect with individuals stories, exploring ways that we may use these models to help individuals explore their fears and  their hopes, as well as their wants, their needs and new possibilities. 

Are you experiencing yourself getting caught in repeat dynamics? similar situations or similar struggles. Perhaps you are experiencing similar disappointments allover? It can be difficult when we can experience ourselves getting stuck in the same cycles.

This is where it can help to bring those situations into therapy and have a light shown upon them, so to speak; to see what is not so much in our conscious awareness, what roles we tend to play, what situations we can recreate, which individuals are part of this. As well as what beliefs, wounds and protective strategies, may be repeatedly at play.

We may experience our 'stuckness' in many areas of our lives. Especially in relationships, romantic, family and friendship.

Perhaps you experience yourself as the one in the relationship who is doing all the work, who is caring more than you feel cared for or who is trying hard to get their needs met.

Maybe you are finding yourself in repeating dynamics of feeling unseen, feeling 'Too much' or 'Too little' and forming imbalanced relationships or friendships.

Or perhaps you are struggling to express yourself and find yourself exiting confrontation and experiencing feelings of shame. Perhaps repeating avoidant behaviour, compliant behaviour or confrontational behaviour.

I combine Transactional Analysis, Jungian Analysis, Parts Work Theory, Polyvagal Theory & EMDR Therapy to work with Individuals to explore their own personal struggles and 'stuckness', as well as their own personal stories about themselves, to see how those stories are impacting their lives. 

Areas in which I have the most experience & therefore the most Impact include:

x Relationship Therapy with couples & individuals.

x Working through struggles with intimacy.

x Developing the Relationship with the Self.

x Heartbreak.

x Soothing when triggered.

x Navigating life with a partner who has been unfaithful.

x Working with Individuals who struggle to trust.

x Working with individuals and couples with differing heritage.

x Strengthening Sense of Self, Values & Direction.

x Navigating Career paths.

x Navigating work/ colleague & management dynamics inc. within the NHS.

x Navigating through disappointment's in life & life after loss.

x Facing life transitions including Divorce & loss of a work/ life role.

x Finding Self Identity after exclusion.

x Navigating a future path between pulls from different cultures, including loving and living outside of individuals cultural expectations.

x Living and loving authentically as LGBTQ+

x Finding self confidence after emotionally unavailable partners.

x Navigating family issues.

x Exploring the roots of anxiety and depression.

x Extreme Social Anxiety.

x Struggles with being seen and Self Image. 

I like to combine the best of what TA, Parts Work Theory & Jungian theory offer to help Individuals and couples understand themselves more deeply.

In these sessions we can explore anxieties and barriers to feeling confidence, finding meaning or enjoying fulfilling relationships in a safe environment, where our aim is to be curious, in ways that hopefully decrease shame and encourage self understanding.  

******** Jungian Themed Workshops ***********

I love to work with local artist & storyteller Rachel Cox delivering Jungian themed Art and Self development workshops. Individuals are welcome to join these workshops for self exploration with like minded individuals.

We have enjoyed exploring concepts related to fairytale, folklore, persona, mythology, shadow work, the tension of opposites, the golden shadow, witches, the creative fire & dreams. We have many more themes to explore!

Previously held at Newcastle Art Centre, we are now based at the Cumberland Arms within Newcastle upon Tyne.

Please see my website for more details. 

********Life & Career Coaching********************

I have developed a passion for life and career coaching, drawing upon Jungian concepts to help individuals explore their future direction. 

I have great experience in work psychology particularly for helping individuals working within the medical and forensic areas. 

I also have a passion for helping individuals explore career routes, finding meaning and purpose, as well as strengthening interview techniques. Interviews is an area in which I have found that even one or two sessions can be highly impactful. 

I also like to help individuals explore any barriers in delivering work meetings and delivering training, helping individuals to explore their personal narratives and how these may impact their experience in these areas. 

My First Session

Within the first session I will ask you what has bought you here and what has motivated you to explore your dynamics. I will ask a little history and I will help you explore which area you would like to focus on first. You will be able to get a glimpse of how I work and if my style of therapy or coaching can work for you. I will answer your questions.

I am able to offer weekly and fortnightly sessions. Frequency and manageability of sessions can be discussed in this session.

I trained at the northern guild of Psychotherapy within Newcastle upon Tyne. The foundation of my learning was in Transactional Analysis.

I was supervised by a Jungian supervisor, studying Jungian theory for over fifteen years. I enjoy teaching some of these concepts in Jungian themed Workshops in Newcastle upon Tyne.

My continued professional development has mainly been in Parts Work Theory. I love teaching this model. It works very well for my clients and receives great feedback from supervisees. I have organised parts work training for therapists with parts work trainers Tom and Lauri Holmes from Michigan America - parts work - an illustrated life.

I have great experience working with couples, LGBTQ+ and individuals from many cultural backgrounds/ cultural heritage.

I have taught in the area of culture and diversity within the northern guild of Psychotherapy.

I love combining these models to help supervisees find innovative and interesting ways to work with clients and keep their own energies flowing.

I have experience working with nervous supervisees who had no confidence to work creatively, who now find creative ways energising.

I find creative therapists find a space to really explore their own ideas, alongside the integration of these models and gain confidence in their unique creativity. 

I offer creative ways of working, from art materials to figurines to the sand tray, to exercises, to an array of therapeutic materials, cards, tarot cards, DreamWork, active imagination, story, mythology and music/ song. 

In the first session I would like to learn about you as a therapist. I would like to understand a little about your journey, what brings you energy, what you avoid and what skills you would like to learn/ develop/ strengthen.

I like to learn a little about how you work and what your experience of supervision has been, as well as what you would like it to be.

I would like to answer any immediate questions you may have for me.