As part of our Shadow of social anxiety campaign to raise awareness about the impact social anxiety has on people’s lives, and how therapy can help, our members share their top tips on how to ease feelings of social anxiety.

  1. Think more positively

Accredited therapist Louise Tyler says that social anxiety is often accompanied by a type of thinking that magnifies natural negative biases. “These thinking biases tend to be as a result of a mix of natural evolutionary responses but also personality and past life experience too,” explains Louise. Louise also says that social anxiety can stem from times that we felt ‘in danger’ - for example, bullying or being criticised. Accredited therapist and anxiety expert Kamalyn Kaur agrees and suggests challenging the anxious or negative thought by asking yourself: "Is this thought really true?” 

  1. Identify the common theme

Registered therapist Lauren Street says that if you experience social anxiety, there is likely to be one or two common themes associated it, which are useful to look out for.  Examples include a demand for certainty, a fear of negative judgment or a demand for complete control in every situation. Lauren explains that when we can't have these, we can feel heightened levels of social anxiety. “By identifying the common themes, either independently or with the help of a therapist, you can challenge this mindset and help you identify what you can control in each situation,” shares Lauren.

  1. Prepare, but don’t overthink

Kamalyn recommends that preparation can be key in alleviating anxiety associated with social situations. “Before entering a social situation, it can be useful have a few go-to topics or questions in mind as conversation starters – just avoid memorising responses. Keeping things natural reduces pressure and prevents overthinking and anxiety,” shares Kamalyn. 

  1. Develop a visual image of happier times

Visualisation techniques can also be a powerful tool to use when experiencing social anxiety. Lauren suggests asking yourself questions about happy times like: Where were you, what were you wearing, and any other specific details you remember can help. “Try to be as detailed as you can be because when you're experiencing a heightened state of anxiety it can be too overwhelming to challenge your own thinking patterns,” says Lauren. “By having a visual image in your mind that you can reference instead, will allow you to remember a time in your life when you didn't feel anxious or panicked, and that no matter how bad you feel, these feelings are temporary.”

  1. Make friends with your social anxiety

Louise suggests that it can also be helpful to try to remember that other people you encounter are also just ‘surviving’ the social situation in the best way they can. “It’s more than likely that they won’t even notice what you or other people are saying or doing, they are far too busy concentrating on themselves,” says Louise. She adds that some people will appear more confident, but that doesn’t mean they don’t also feel anxious. “The key is to be able to turn the volume down on your anxiety so that it doesn’t become crippling,” adds Louise.

  1. Be yourself

It’s human nature that we’re all drawn to people who are authentic and truly themselves, so Louise suggests that in some situations it may be worth telling people that you feel nervous. “You’ll likely be surprised by how many others tell you that they are feeling the same. Just try to chat normally as you would to family or a close friend, often social anxiety is made worse by overthinking your role in the interaction,” shares Louise.

To find a registered therapist who can support you with social anxiety visit BACP’s therapist directory at www.bacp.co.uk