Whether you’ve found yourself in an unfulfilling job or relationship, or you lack a clear sense of purpose, feeling stuck is something that most of us experience at some point in our lives. Here our members share why we can find ourselves stuck, and how entering a new year is the perfect time to break the cycle.
Why do we get stuck on autopilot?
There’s a myriad of reasons why we feel our lives get stuck on autopilot, but registered therapist Alison Gee says that it’s often due to life’s pressures and routines. “It’s easier to prioritise others’ expectations, avoid our own discomfort and fears of failure,” shares Alison. “And this keeps us in a cosy loop of familiarity. External factors like burnout, major life changes, or uncertainty can also keep us in place, even when we want to move forward.”
Accredited therapist Nikki Howes says that unresolved trauma and personal circumstances – such as financial worries - can also contribute. “Burnout can make us feel stuck, hopeless and helpless,” shares Nikki. “We may feel uncertain of our goals or be comfortable in a familiar routine even if it isn't making us happy.”
Accredited therapist Rebecca Vivash also adds that "stuckness" can be traced to our body’s nervous system: “Sometimes it’s our body’s way of reacting to feelings of overwhelm.”
Spotting the signs
Alison says that feeling stuck is often accompanied by restlessness and frustration. “Signs of being stuck include procrastination, decision paralysis, and a numbing sense of disconnection,” adds Rebecca.
Nikki says that it can be helpful to look out for signs - which can range from putting off important tasks to avoiding opportunities. A lack of excitement about the future can also be a common sign.
Senior accredited therapist Andrew Kidd says it’s important to acknowledge that feeling of “stuckness” is unique to the individual. Andrew says common signs he encounters include a persistent sense of dissatisfaction - despite someone’s achievements - and people encountering the same problem without finding a solution – such as regular overspending.
What you can do to break free
If you feel like life’s hit a plateau, the good news is that it doesn’t have to be this way. Here are nine actionable steps our members recommend to help you break free and regain a sense of direction for 2025.
- Recognising you’re stuck: The first step to breaking the cycle is recognising that you are stuck. Rebecca says to pay attention to signs like avoiding important decisions, feeling detached from your emotions, or living on autopilot - going through the motions without intention or joy. She adds: “These are cues that your inner compass might be buried under old stories about what you "should" do, rather than what truly matters to you.”
- Pause and reflect: Alison says that the new year is a good time to pause and reflect on what feels missing from your life. “Naming it helps you see what you can do to address that feeling,” shares Alison. Andrew agrees and says: “Gaining insight is one of the first steps to moving forward. Sometimes, we unknowingly stick with values or ideas that no longer serve us.”
- Reconnect with your values: Nikki suggests that thinking about our values can help us get unstuck as it “provides clarity and helps us to see if there is a discrepancy between our values and how we’re living our life.” Alison adds that “identifying what truly matters to you and assessing if your life aligns with those values” is essential to break free of any feelings of being stuck.
- Set small, actionable goals: Consider where you can make small changes to the problem areas in your life. “The key is to change your behaviour,” explains Andrew. “Shake up your routine, start a new hobby, or take a bite-sized step toward a larger goal. Make a list of potential action plans or solutions, or reach out to a friend for advice or support.” Alison adds that to avoid overwhelm, focus on one achievable step at a time: “Progress builds momentum.”
- Step outside your comfort zone: Nikki says that introducing a new hobby or skill can also be helpful to build confidence. “Try new activities, meet new people, and embrace change to reignite your sense of purpose,” adds Alison.
- Reassess your commitments: “Learn to say no to what doesn’t serve you and yes to what does,” asserts Alison. Andrew agrees and says it’s important to be honest with yourself about your challenges: “Ask yourself: 'What do I want? If you’re not sure, take some time to reflect on what you don't want, and you’ll find the answer to what you do want.”
- Practice acceptance: Don’t let perfection get in the way of progress. Nikki says to remind yourself to be patient and gentle with yourself and your progress, and to accept any setbacks. “Remember that life comes in phases,” shares Andrew. “Some periods are meant for rest and reflection. Avoid comparing yourself to others as this can exacerbate feelings of stuckness. Much of happiness lies in the process, not the destination.”
- Seek support: “Sometimes, professional guidance—whether a coach or a registered therapist—can help untangle deeper barriers,” shares Alison. Andrew agrees and says a therapist can help you get to the root causes of why you’re feeling stuck and create a personalised plan to move forward.
- Take action instead of overthinking: If all else fails, Andrew says to remember that action brings more clarity than thought. “We cannot keep repeating the same behaviours and expect a different result. Even if you’re unsure of the best path forward, don’t do nothing—hope comes from the pursuit.” If you’re uncertain what to do next, Andrew suggests reflecting on where your fear is, as that often shows us where we need to focus.
While going through these steps, Alison says it’s always important to remember that “feeling stuck isn’t permanent”. By shifting focus to what you value most and taking deliberate steps, 2025 can be a year of renewal, change and growth.
To find a registered therapist who can support you, visit our therapists directory.
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