Girls Aloud singer Nicola Roberts has described how 12 months of trauma therapy was “the best gift I ever gave myself”.
She told The Guardian how therapy “changed her in the most amazing way” following a turbulent and traumatic few years in which she was stalked by an ex-boyfriend.
He was prosecuted in 2017 and given a suspended prison sentence and a lifetime restraining order, banning him from contacting her or her family.
She said the past few years had been very difficult emotionally.
“Prior to this year, I’d say I had five of the unhappiest years of my life. Just really tough emotionally.”
Massive toll
She added that the ordeal with her ex-boyfriend “took a massive toll on my life”.
“I had a few heartbreaks along the way. I was kind of ground down.”
But a year of trauma therapy has been transformative, she said.
Nicola Roberts on tour with Girls Aloud. Credit: Anthony Blakemore
She said she’d often found herself putting her feelings in a box and setting them to one side.
“It got to a point where I was compartmentalising everything … the box just got full.”
“I was like: ‘I don’t want this to affect me any more – it is my responsibility to make me happy.’”
Amazing
She added: “We opened all the boxes. I feel like it’s just changed me in the most amazing way, for ever.”
Nicola first shot to fame by auditioning for the TV show Popstars: The Rivals in 2002 when aged 16. She became the youngest member of Girls Aloud who went on to have 21 Top 10 singles.
She said therapy has helped her develop boundaries.
“It means that you take all the red flags that pop up extremely seriously and you turn around and walk the other way, straight away.”
Happy
She added: “I have been too unhappy and I am now so happy – I will never let anything disrupt that. So unless you are continuing with me in this happy, peaceful state, you’re not getting near me.”
In a few months Nicola will star in a West Production of the musical City of Angels.
She said she does not feel angry about the past five years, but also does not want people to think she’s thankful for that period of time.
“I feel sad that it happened to me.
Confident
“But I feel like it led me to do therapy and the therapy has been the best thing I could ever have done for myself. It’s honestly just changed me so much, and I’m so thankful for that.
She said that without therapy, “I wouldn’t have got to this place, who I am now. I’m calm. I’m confident again. I’m excited.”
To find a counsellor visit our Therapist directory.
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