10 minutes with... Charlotte Hastings
Thresholds online, October 2023

What is counselling?

A calm, non-judgmental, empathic space to find the keys that turn suffering into strength and insight and unlock our healing potential which could be hidden in past trauma, chaos and confusion. It is a mutually enhancing conversation covering both the unique and the universal within the human experience. This reveals a pathway for individuation, empowerment, and steady integration. Counselling reimagines the vital maternal preoccupation of our earliest days and most basic needs, offering the gift of attention. Compassionate curiosity leads the way to our darkest, most painstakingly guarded secrets, releasing their vital energy. In this sense, counselling is an expression of human love, whatever that might mean and however, that might be needed for that person, at that time.

What has inspired you on your counselling journey?

Finding Carl Jung as I studied anthropology as an undergraduate, and exploring his understanding of the collective unconscious, has been key in my journey to be a therapist. Jung remains my guiding light.

Body psychotherapist, Russell Rose, was a colleague and mentor. His insight, support and guidance enabled me to get through the training. His depth and breadth of knowledge, compassion and curiosity have set me upon my personal journey as a therapist. I still look to him for help as a more experienced therapist providing an embodied perspective.

Pamela Howard’s teaching, practice and humour have been a great inspiration. Her chapter The therapeutic relationship (2008)¹ explaining that love is at the centre of the therapeutic relationship, helped reassure me that I was in the right profession. She gave me Kristeva’s paper Women’s Time^,2 which has had a continuing influence on my thinking, in terms of recognising food as a feminine process as well as a masculine product. Pam’s personal approach and encouragement gave me the sense of being believed in.

Linda Cundy’s training, supervision, mentoring and friendship have been an incredible, ongoing resource. She is entirely professional and approachable. Her ability as an analyst and writer, her command of theory and her generosity of support are a bottomless treasure trove of inspiration that I hope to pass on.

What does spirituality mean to you?

It is something that we know but have no words for:

An intuitive trust of deep ancestral knowledge transcends our sense of time and space, creating eternal spirals of energetic connection.

It is an experience of oneness and communion. It is knowledge held by our inner tutor (our gut instincts within the digestive system, which we share with every other living thing), our absolute interconnection. Here there can be an earthy, bodily awareness of our unique purpose and participation within the whole.

It is love, in all its dimensions, and connections.

What is your most useful piece of advice for a student or newly qualified therapist?

Remember help begins at home. It can be helpful to reliably show up for yourself at an agreed time for some physical movement, time in contemplation and journaling reflections. Create daily self-care routines that honour the person you are and the space that you offer (including its boundaries, needs and limits).

Do you have a favourite quote?

‘And the day came, when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.’ (Anais Nin)

‘Everything that irritates us about others can lead to an understanding of ourselves.’ (Carl Jung)

‘Ubuntu says when I have a small piece of bread, it is for my benefit I share it with you… none of us came into this world alone… we’re meant for a profound complementarity.’ (Desmond Tutu)

Favourite counselling book?

Trauma and the Soul by Donald Kalshed.

The Self Psychology of Addiction and its Treatment: Narcissus in Wonderland by Richard Ulman and Harry Paul.

The Psychological Birth of The Human Infant Symbiosis and Individuation by Margaret Mahler.

Favourite podcast or website?

This Jungian Life and Phil Mollon’s website. 

Favourite piece of music?

The Rites of Spring Recomposed by Max Richter for thought inspiration.
I Believe in Miracles by Hot Chocolate for personal inspiration.
Don’t Wanna Know About Evil sung by Beth Orton and written by John Martyn for mood inspiration.
I Feel Love by Donna Summer for party inspiration.
Over My Head by Fleetwood Mac for romantic inspiration.
The Meaning of Time by Almunia for dream inspiration.
Ray of Light by Madonna for parenting inspiration.
No.1 by Goldfrapp for cooking inspiration.
(Yup, one is never enough and I could be a Desert Island Discs wannabe)

Top tip for a successful supervision session?

Fully and reassuringly prepare, then allow what needs to come into the session to be there, not feeling you must stick to the plan. Chances are the preparation time will have answered many questions, leaving the path clear for what you’ve not yet thought to wonder. Be honest. Talk about the most awkward quandaries, freeing those corners of your mind and forging the path of trust and safety for your clients to follow.

What is the most important issue facing the counselling world today?

So much of life is conducted online, in virtual space and time. The cost of this incredible convenience is yet untold but can be seen surfacing in attachment and communication issues. We are increasingly ‘head-focused’, running on machine rather than human time scales. The coactive magic of embodied presence is increasingly lost, overlooked or hijacked by online, goal-directed emphasis. Life is a synergy of quantum interactions, so much of which is missed in the limits of our head-to-head online world. It feels as though we are not raising the questions we need to be asking about online work. A quote often attributed to Winnicott says, ‘It is a joy to be hidden and a disaster not to be found.’ An online presence gives us the illusion that we are in control of both.