Alison Paris asked participants to evoke words, thoughts and feelings about being with grief and to reflect on process models of grief in order to identify connections with the spiritual aspects of bereavement. She invited reflection on the synchronicities between transpersonal and theoretical approaches.
Alison then asked the group to consider how they imagined grief to be. She explained that there is a process of entry to grief before we can fully be with it. She explored Tonkin’s model of bereavement reflecting upon how grief is actually experienced and how we can see a way through. She also explored intentionality and the use of presence to deepen interactions.
Introducing Alison Paris
What made you join the spirituality division?
I see counselling as a spiritual process, and am particularly interested in the relationships between spiritual and therapeutic practice. I offer spiritual accompaniment separately, and while this is different from counselling, there are overlaps in offering a contemplative space in which to be fully present, and open to discernment.
How do spirituality or faith come into your practice?
I feel the counselling space to be sacred and I do silently ask God, Holy Spirit in my faith tradition, to work through me. Being a person-centred counsellor, the fundamental conditions are a ‘way of being’ that is also somehow spiritual, as expressed by Carl Rogers and Brian Thorne.
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What does spirituality mean to you?
Spirituality means, for me, the expression of God as being within all. I love the Quaker saying that there is ‘…that of God in everyone’. I’m a practising Christian and I try to meditate daily – to be still in God’s presence, anchored by a sacred word or image.
What’s the best thing about being a counsellor?
I trained on retirement from full-time work in social work education. I had wanted to do this for a long time, and it’s a gift and privilege to be able offer counselling in older age. To anyone who feels it’s too late, I’d say, it isn’t!
Could you share something that you have learned about life since becoming a therapist.
I’ve learned the significance of compassion – in everyday life, in counselling and spiritual accompaniment practice.
Is there a book that has particularly inspired you?
A book I hold dear is Living with an Open Heart, by Russell Kolts and Thubten Chodron. This book helped me through a difficult and strange emotional period, on retirement, and also helped me to be open to new ways of doing things.
Have you got a favourite wellbeing practice?
Chatting to my grandchildren always makes me happy. I’m enlivened by poetry, singing, yoga – oh, and dancing, plus cooking in the kitchen; I’m also fascinated by science fiction.
Could you describe a place that you really love.
I love Monte Oliveto Monastery in Tuscany. The combination of russet stonework, ancient frescos, sunshine, forests, blue hills in the distance, and supper outside, with wine and conversation – heaven on earth.