Many people experience suicidal thoughts and feelings. We explain why suicidal feelings could happen, discuss the range of emotions people may have, and explore techniques that could offer support.
What are suicidal thoughts and feelings?
Dan Mills-Da’Bell says it’s important to be clear and direct about what suicide is: the act of intentionally taking your own life. Dan says that people experience a wide-ranging spectrum of thoughts and feelings around suicide that are often hard to discuss and shrouded in stigma and myths.
"Thoughts can be abstract, or they can be literal thoughts and images about how you might take your own life," explains Dan. "They can come from a place of thinking that people might be better off without you or that life feels too difficult."
Range of emotions
He also says that feeling suicidal can evoke a whole host of emotions - from being scared and worried, to feeling sad and confused. Feelings can change from moment to moment and may not last long – but it’s important to understand you’re not alone.
"You might also feel extremely overwhelmed," says Dan. "Some people can even feel a sense of calm or become withdrawn and secretive. You may feel lonely, useless or like there’s no other option. Or you may have a curious mind to the point of becoming fixated about death."
Dan also says that constant negative thinking and being in considerable physical or emotional pain is common too. And that these feelings can lead to changes in appetite, self-care, social life, sleep, self-esteem and communication.
What causes suicidal thoughts and feelings?
Dan says that it’s difficult to say exactly why suicidal thoughts and feelings happen as everyone has their own individual experiences and circumstances. But he explains that feelings are often triggered by mounting pressures - such as financial worries, housing, employment, relationships ending or the cost-of-living crisis. Traumatic experiences such as bullying, abuse, bereavement, addiction, cultural pressures and isolation can also be contributing factors.
Dan also says that physical or mental health issues, long-term chronic pain, depression or anxiety can also spark suicidal feelings. And that some people have flashes of suicidal thoughts that aren’t connected to a particular struggle.
"Even some medications, the menopause and pregnancy can cause people to experience suicidal thoughts and feelings," he says. "It’s important to recognise that suicidal feelings and thoughts can impact anybody, any gender, age, background, and at any time."
What you can do
If you feel at immediate risk, Dan says that it’s important to get help straightaway.
"If you can, try waiting five minutes to see how you feel. But if it’s urgent, you can access crisis services hotlines either online or by telephone. You can also call the emergency services. Ideally, it’s often best to reach out to those closest to you for support and remove the means by which you might harm yourself," he says.
Distraction techniques
Dan explains that in some cases, distraction techniques can work to change your emotional or physiological state.
Techniques include focusing on your senses and breathing meditation. Going outside, reading and listening to music can also help divert the focus from harmful thoughts.
"However, if you've been experiencing suicidal thoughts for a while, it may be time to access specialist support – such as engaging with counselling and therapy, creating a safety plan and ensuring you have a supportive network around you."
You can get support through your GP, referrals through therapy services, helplines, medication, peer support and by finding a therapist who fits you.
How to provide support
Dan advises that when listening to people sharing their feelings about suicide, you should stay calm, listen and provide no judgment – despite how you may be feeling inside.
He says that people may struggle to articulate their feelings so it’s important not to rush them when they are explaining what’s going on. He also acknowledges that it’s perfectly normal to not know what to say - and you can be honest about this.
"Empathise with them. Don’t worry about immediately fixing the situation. Just be there with them and let them know you're there. It’s also important to ask them direct questions such as: "Are you experiencing thoughts of suicide?," shares Dan.
"If the situation is dangerous though and the risk is high, you may need to call 999 and get immediate help. You can also support them by taking them to A and E."
Just remember, that if you're providing support to someone with suicidal thoughts and feelings, you must also look after yourself. Being there for someone can take its toll on you emotionally - so take time for yourself or access support yourself if you need to.
How therapy can help
Therapy can play a pivotal role in supporting someone who is experiencing suicidal thoughts and feelings, as Dan explains:
"Therapy involves talking to a trained professional who can support and help you to understand why you might be having these thoughts and feelings.
"A therapist can look at ways of coping and managing any suicidal thoughts and feelings, with the aim of potentially getting to a place of not having these feelings or thoughts anymore. Therapy provides a confidential safe space for people to talk, think and feel their way through these difficult thoughts."
Dan adds that it can feel liberating, painful and extremely helpful to work alongside a trained professional:
"Therapists are able to assess the risk and balance the pain to ensure any pain is contained, managed and supported. Your therapist will help you unpack your feelings so that you understand them better, and together you can look at strategies and goals to help you cope - depending on which therapeutic and theoretical approach is being used."
To contact Samaritans call 116 123 or visit www.samaritans.org
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